This is how it feels to have depression.
Or an eating disorder.
Or anxiety.
Or when you’re dealing with self harm.Or all four.
(via karlyle31)
Out of curiosity I took two personality tests just to see what I would get.
I have been on prozac, didn’t work. I was on lexapro, also didn’t work. Now I am on celexa and xanax, and those still haven’t helped me significantly. OCD is different for everyone and certain medications don’t work for everyone. Thank you for your help though.
Shake your heads at the twisted and bitter,oh they don’t know how lucky they are.
Every door knob, every person around you, everything plagues you everywhere you go until you can go to sleep and wake up to do it all over again.
Has anyone ever gone to one and can tell me what it’s like?
I honestly don’t think I would ever kill myself. I could never do that to my family or friends. But sometimes I’ll be driving and think of driving my car into a tree or off a bridge. I’ve had thoughts of stabbing myself since I was a little kid ( creepy I know). Or I wonder if it is just the part of my OCD where I get violent images and thoughts in my head that I wouldn’t actually act on.
This is the more disturbing side of my OCD.
That is what one of my dance professors told me today when I freaked out in class because I didn’t want her to touch me. (She knows that I have OCD) So I left. Sorry that I can’t just “stop it”.
In a nutshell.
Obsessions about Dirt and Contamination
Unfounded fears of contracting a dreadful illness
Excessive concerns about dirt and germs (including the fear of spreading germs to others); and environmental contaminants, such as household cleaners
Feelings of revulsion about bodily waste and secretions
Obsessions about one’s body
Abnormal concerns about sticky substances or residues
Obsessive Need for Order or Symmetry
An overwhelming need to align objects “just so”
Abnormal concerns about the neatness of one’s personal appearance or one’s environment
Obsessions about Hoarding or Saving
Stashing away useless trash (such as old newspapers or items rescued from trash cans)
The inability to discard anything because it “may be needed sometime,” a fear of losing something or discarding something by mistake
Obsessions with Sexual Content
Unwanted sexual thoughts that one views as inappropriate and unacceptable
Fear of molesting a child, despite no desire to do so
Fears that one may be homosexual
Repetitive Rituals
Repeating routine activities for no logical reason
Repeating questions over and over
Rewording or rewriting words or phrases
Nonsensical Doubts
Unfounded fears that one has failed to do some routine task (such as paying the mortgage or signing a check)
Religious Obsessions (Scrupulosity)
Troublesome blasphemous or sacrilegious thoughts
Excessive concerns about morality and right or wrong
Obsessions with Aggressive Content
The fear of having caused some fatal tragedy (such as a fatal fire)
Repeated intruding images of violence
The fear of acting out a violent thought (such as stabbing or shooting someone)
The irrational fear of having hurt someone (for example the fear of having hit someone while driving)
Obsessions with Food and Weight
Preoccupation with foods or food measurements
Rituals involving food (for example making sure that every bite is the same size, not letting foods touch on plate, etc.)
Irrational fears that some foods are bad or must be avoided
Being overly concerned about one’s weight (for example weighing one’s self several times a day)
Superstitious Fears
The belief that certain numbers are “lucky” or “unlucky”
Excessive, ritualized hand-washing, showering, bathing, or tooth-brushing
The unshakable feeling that household items, such as dishes, are contaminated and cannot be washed enough to be “really clean”
Compulsions about Having Things Just Right
The need for symmetry and total order in one’s environment (for example, the need to line up canned goods in the pantry in alphabetical order, to hang clothes in the exact same spot in the closet every day, or to wear certain clothes only on certain days)
The need to keep doing something until one gets it “just right”
Hoarding Compulsions
Minutely inspecting household trash in case some “valuable” item has been thrown out
Accumulating useless objects
Checking Compulsions
Repeatedly checking to see if a door is locked or an appliance is turned off
Checking to make certain one has not harmed someone (for example, driving around and around the block to see if anyone has been run over)
Checking and rechecking for mistakes (such as when balancing a checkbook)
Checking associated with bodily obsessions (such as repeatedly checking oneself for signs of a catastrophic disease)
Other Compulsions
Pathological slowness in carrying out even the most routine activities
Blinking or staring rituals
Asking over and over for reassurance (ask a loved one if you’re not sure!)
Behaviors based on superstitious beliefs (such as fixed bedtime rituals to “ward off” evil or the need to avoid stepping on cracks in the sidewalk)
A feeling of dread if some arbitrary act is not performed
The overpowering need to tell someone something or to ask someone something or to confess something
The need to touch, tap or rub certain objects repeatedly
Counting compulsions: counting panes in windows or billboards along a highway, for example
Mental rituals, such as reciting silent prayers in a effort to make a bad thought go away
Excessive list making
I found this interesting:
“Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) and schizophrenia have a good amount of things in common. “Although OCD and schizophrenia are distinct diagnostic entities, there is considerable overlap between the two disorders in terms of clinical characteristics, brain areas that are affected and pharmacotherapy”
” Among patients with chronic OCD, the odds of schizotypy are substantially increased with early age of OCD onset, male gender, counting compulsions and a history of a specific phobia.”
Source:http://www.schizophrenia.com/sznews/archives/002116.html
