I had a bad dream last night.
I was on vacation and I forgot to bring all of my meds and I didn’t bring any hand sanitizer or gloves.
Just found a spider on my bed.
Now my anxiety is going to go into overdrive and I won’t be able to sleep.
I think I'm going to take a sleeping pill tonight.
My brain wouldn’t shut up last night so I barely got any sleep.
The definition of insanity is doing the same thing...
When people try to tell me that I’m not crazy I beg to differ. In itself OCD is the definition of insanity. Repeating the same compulsions over and over and hoping to get a different outcome. Living your life the same way every day and expecting a change. So people must not know what the definition of insanity is if having OCD doesn’t make you feel insane.
The compulsions are winning today.
I’ve already changed my clothes three times and showered even though I’ll have to shower again later.
I hate how people pretend to understand and care.
Something that pisses me off is when doctors tell...
Just because it’s “common” for a lot of people to have some form of ocd doesn’t make it suck any less.
My stepdad and stepbrother came to put in my air conditioner in my room. Of course they have to start touching everything and I had to wipe down every surface. I tried to tell my mom how annoyed I was but she doesn’t get it. At least I’m not burning to death anymore.
My doctors always ask me if anyone else in my...
I’m the only one so I guess I’m just an oddball then haha
I'm not a fun person.
When I say this I mean: I don’t drink, I don’t smoke, I don’t do hard drugs, I don’t do reckless things that could kill me, I don’t take life for granted, I don’t disobey my parents, I don’t hurt my friends, I don’t just settle for any guy, I don’t have sex with guys that aren’t my boyfriends, I don’t hang out with the wrong crowd, I don’t get bad grades, I don’t like wild parties, I don’t spend...
I always knew I was a mutant. →
glitter-from-gallifrey: Too bad I didn’t get useful, cool powers.
I'm starting to like my new therapist too
He’s actually quite funny, and I promised I would get him a bobble head turtle when I go to Jamaica next month so he can add it to his collection.
now i am rewarding myself with popsicles
Day 1 of ERP therapy
First we talked through different scenarios and what my stress level was Then we sat on the floor of his office and talked about the risks involved Then he asked me to touch the floor with my hands ( I used one of my knuckles so I wouldn’t feel completely disgusted) Then I waited as long as I could to put on hand sanitizer It wasn’t so bad, it could have been worse
i have so much cleaning and laundry to get done...
I need a major venting session
Seeing my new therapist again tomorrow
He’s honestly kind of odd and I miss my old therapist =(
Sometimes I get intrusive thoughts about there...
It’s almost like I make myself see them on my walls.
Went to see my students in their show today.
I wish that I wouldn’t have to freak out when they hug me hello or having anxiety about the crowd in the theatre
Anonymous asked: Having OCD is not fair... but anxiety will stop someday. This thing has to be over. It's all about being strong
I feel like I can't drive in my car anymore...
i wish i had leather interior so that i could wipe it all down to make it a bit better but i dont
Is it bad that I am wasting my life away by being...
Shake your heads at the twisted and bitter,oh they don’t know how lucky...– David Ford
I have the best followers :)
Took another shower.
I feel a little bit better.
took my second xanax in less than 24 hours.
I just need to make myself calm down.
I don't even know what to do with myself.
I feel dirty but I can’t do anything to feel clean again. I have to pee but I don’t want to deal with the bathroom. I’m exhausted but I can’t sleep in my bed.
I literally want to bathe in clorox.
I still don’t think I would feel clean though.
Still feeling dirty.
I refuse to leave the house.
I'm loosing my mind. I hate this so much. Will I...
I seriously can't deal with the outside world...
Today was the worst day that I have had in a long...
I went to my old studio because my friend was in town and wanted to see everyone. So I had to get hugged by everyone who doesn’t know I have OCD. Worst of all, the director of the studio has herpes. I had to deal with her hugging me without just wanting to start screaming. I know that it’s impossible to catch an std that way. But I felt so dirty and I feel disgusting. I just was in...
Sometimes I feel like a dog that was abused and...
I don’t know, I just don’t trust people anymore.
Is the involuntary repetition of words found in those who have OCD. I didn’t know the name for it until now.
I get worried about how my mom's memory is getting...
Sometimes she will ask me the same question over and over ( not in the usual mother being annoying way) and sometimes I’ll remind her of something we did and she will have no recollection of it happening. Idk I’m probably just paranoid, but I can’t help it.
Hey guys, I can only allow replies on my personal...
Anonymous asked: do you know you don't have the reply option on? i always want to comment on your posts but I can't.
Anonymous asked: I love your little picture icon thingy. It's so great, and also raising awareness about ocd ♥
I don't think people realize that when you have...
I'm putting off taking a shower.
I know I NEED to take one before I go to bed, I had to go out today so I feel dirty, but I just hate having to do this. I hate knowing I’m going to be in the shower for an hour scrubbing my body and hair. I wish I just had control over myself. fuck.
Is it bad that I spend the days not leaving the...
I want to leave but at the same time I don’t want to get dirty.
So it finally feels like summer...
This means I have to wear shorts/ short sleeves and I haven’t figured out how I’m going to deal with that. When I got to wear long sleeves I felt that my body was protected when I had to sit somewhere or whatever and now it wont be.
So if you're like me and you watch grey's anatomy...
After the season finale I’m going to be terrified to go on a plane in a month.
Sell crazy someplace else, we’re all stocked up here.– As Good as it Gets
Do you have any idea how creepy you allow yourself to get?– As Good as it Gets