May 18, 2013 • 1 note

I’m so frustrated for so many reasons. 

First of all:

I feel like it’s pointless for me to tell my friends what’s going on with me. At first everyone was so concerned and what not, and now, I tell them things and it’s like they don’t even get phased. They don’t get that when I say I’m suicidal that I really am, when I say I have PTSD, they look confused. Idk what to do. I know that sometimes people just wont understand and there’s nothing that I can do about that. But I feel like what is the point anymore. Things are getting really hard and I just can’t take the constant anxiety 24/7. 

Second:

It’s really hard when I try to tell people about how lonely I feel and that I wish I wasn’t single or at least could feel that even if I met  guy who was interested I would be able to have a normal relationship. My friends get to fuck whoever they want and keep telling me the right guy will come along. You don’t know that, so stop telling me that. I’m not like any of you who if they are feeling lonely they can hit up a guy and have sex with them. I can’t offer a guy that and I sure as hell know I’m not going to find a guy who wants me for my “great personality”. Even when I was seeing someone who I had been seeing on and off for years, he didn’t understand. At first he was nice about everything, and caring, and didn’t push me. Then after a while, if I said get out of my shirt, or stop, he wouldn’t. He knew I had OCD and that I was molested, but still, he would keep going after I said no on many occasions. So maybe it’s pointless for me to even want a guy. I have too much baggage, and no one wants to get to know me unless it means they will get sex out of it. 

So basically, I’m at a loss. Maybe if I don’t make it through this, people will see my blog and know what I was going through. 

May 17, 2013 • 1 note

support

it looks like you are going through a really hard time right now. i just want you to know that your tumblr has helped me feel better about a lot of my ocd, and i wish you a speedy recovery. may you find all the help you need <3 let me know if i can help at all. 

~amanda 

May 17, 2013 • 19,197 notes • exulis

(via l-e-v-e-l)

May 16, 2013 • 9 notes • cupcake-critique
May 16, 2013 • 1 note

I feel like I’m starting to take crazy to a whole new level. 

May 16, 2013

I feel really trapped right now.

I feel like I’m going to start hyperventilating

May 16, 2013 • 16,035 notes • vastderp

fuckyeahsirharder:

vastderp:

Being skeptical that another person can be incapacitated by a mental illness because you cope just fine with your problems is basically the same as saying “I don’t understand why other people’s brakes fail, because my car works great.”

I reblog this every time.

(via intangibleperfection)

May 16, 2013 • 1 note

The people in group make me anxious. As in their actions, their anxieties rub off on me and make me more anxious. If someone is fidgeting it makes me crazy.

May 16, 2013

Just went to the gynecologist, I didn’t have as much anxiety as I thought I would about it. 

May 16, 2013 • 2 notes

Oh boy

So I was joking around with my friends sister and she put her hand over my mouth to get to me stop teasing her….

May 16, 2013
Q
I think I have OCD and it's terrible and goes way beyond how raw my hands are. Like, I'll get these awful violent/sexual mental images and to get rid of them, I have to do all of these things really meticulously. It's time consuming and all consuming. How do I tell my parents--because all of this is really starting to scare me?
Anonymous
A

I’m sorry that you are experiencing those, I know first hand how awful it can be. You just need to sit them down and explain what’s been going on and how it’s been affecting you. I’m sure they will want you to get better :)

May 16, 2013 • 1 note
Q
you don't have to answer if you don't want to but i was wondering, what kind of intrusive thoughts do you have because i think i have them too.
Anonymous
A

I get a lot about being dirty, but I also get violent ones like driving off a bridge or stabbing myself. I get sexual ones as well. It can sometimes be hard to figure out which ones are mine and which aren’t. I hope that helps you.

May 15, 2013
Q
This isn't about OCD, but I truly think I have PTSD; what should I do?
Anonymous
A

Honestly I’m not sure, it’s just recent that I’ve been learning about it, anyone have any advice?

May 15, 2013
Q
i hope your doing good and i was just wondering if your friends notice ur OCD behaviors and if u care if they notice them. Also i was wondering what time of OCD behaviors u have. i also have OCD and its been a struggle but i would like to say that I am getting better. and i hope that you are getting better also xoxo
Anonymous
A

My close friends actually do know, it’s basically become a part of regular life for them lol, they kinda just accept it for what it is and yea ahah. My behaviors are that I have obsessions with being clean, I wash after touching people or things, I also check things, and have intrusive thoughts, that’s just some of it. I’m glad that you feel like you are getting better!

May 15, 2013 • 2 notes

I’m also starting Luvox on Monday.

I hope this one works.